The "Maybe" Mindset
Ep24
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Audra Dinell: [00:00:00] Hey, welcome back. So glad to have you here. Before we jump in, I wanna let you know that we have been working hard behind the scenes to batch record podcast episodes so that we can be consistent and hitting your ears every Monday. This is the last episode I am batching before summer break officially starts.
So let's get into it. Today I'm gonna share a story and this story is not mine and it's one that you may have heard in the past, but we are going to listen to the short story and dig deeper into the meaning behind this story that many of us may have [00:01:00] heard over the years. I've got some thoughts on why it's important to us, and the gist of this is; life happens and there's nothing we can do about it besides prepare ourselves for resilience and how do we do that? I think we stay curious and flexible to what life throws at us. So that's why it's important. I'm gonna end with a tool to make it super practical for us to practice in our lives.
But before we do, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you to those who have reached out and shared that they like the format of this podcast. We intentionally try and keep our episodes 30 minutes or less. Sometimes when we have guest episodes or thread team episodes, we go a little bit longer, but the intention is to get you something every Monday that's gonna uplift you.
If it's consumable, that's not gonna drag on into multiple days, but it's just something that is a tool or a [00:02:00] perspective, or honestly just like a thing that might help you feel more seen or less alone every Monday in a bite-sized form. So thank you to those of you, many of you who have complimented the structure.
I appreciate it. Okay, now let's jump in. So the story is this. The farmer and his horse. Once upon a time, there was a poor farmer who lived with his son. One day his horse ran away. The neighbors came to console him. Oh, how terrible. The farmer simply replied, maybe. A few days later, the horse returned, bringing with it several wild horses.
The neighbors exclaimed how wonderful the farmer said, maybe. Soon after while trying to tame one of the wild horses, the farmer's son fell and broke his leg. The neighbors again offered their sympathy. Oh, how [00:03:00] terrible. The farmer once again answered, maybe. Later, the army came through the village to recruit all of the abled bodied young men for war.
Because of his broken leg, the farmer's son was spared. The neighbor said, how wonderful and once again. The farmer said, maybe. Okay, so I don't know about you, but this story just, it hits me because my brain is so quick to make assumptions. Assumptions about a situation, assumptions about a person's intention.
And I'm not saying. We can't sometimes do that because sometimes it is good to ask ourselves, huh, I wonder what this person's intention was behind this sentence, or X, Y, Z. [00:04:00] But too often we rush past the pause and judge things as good or bad, but life is a long game. Today I had coffee with one of my first bosses and mentors, and he is going through a health crisis right now.
And meeting up with him and you know, he's a couple decades ahead of me seeing his changed perspective on life through this health crisis was really bomb to my rushed. Productive soul. Really, life is a long game and we rarely see the full picture in the moment. He and I talked about something that had happened about 20 years ago, gosh, a little less, and at the time the thing happened, [00:05:00] it was something that
felt bad, you know, felt scary, felt, oh no, I can't believe this is happening. There's anger around it, and he mentioned how it was one of the best things that ever happened to him, because if that wouldn't happen, you know, this wouldn't have happened X, Y, and z. I think when we think about this story of maybe we have the ability to create more of a calm acceptance inside of us, that allows us
peace when circumstances change. To me, this story is about staying open, trusting the unfolding of life, and not getting trapped by immediate emotions. Ooh, more on emotions later. I promise. We will be doing more on emotions on this podcast at some point, but here's how I think this can actually practically apply in our lives today.
Four ideas. One, I think. This story [00:06:00] of maybe can help us pause before judging events when something happens that creates uncertainty in our life, like a downturn in business, a conflict, a missed opportunity. It's so easy for us to spiral negative, and I think if we can tap into the lessons of this story.
We can cultivate the mindset of, I'll wait and see when, let's say an arm of your business gets cut off. It's so easy to spiral and think, okay, well how are we gonna do this and this and this? And okay, we've gotta arm wrestle this back into place. Like, let's hustle. But this has happened recently in my business and
I would absolutely be lying if I said there wasn't some anxiety, if there wasn't grief, [00:07:00] if there wasn't challenging emotions. But I also had this calmness at my center knowing that this is aligned and I don't know what's next, but let's wait and see. My brain has been processing. This change in business, and it's been best when I have been able to pause and remove that judgment.
Number two, I think this story helps us stay open to unexpected outcomes. Just like my boss I was telling you about in the beginning. Sometimes a setback or a perceived failure can be a redirection towards something even better.
The meaning of events often unfolds over time, and we are just unable to see them when they're right in front of us. Number three. [00:08:00] I think this story helps us lead calmly during change. I wish I was more emotionally steady. I am so grateful to have a team who. We can check in with one another and just hold space really for one another throughout the rollercoasters of emotions that we may be feeling.
When I say we, I mostly mean me, but having this perspective of, okay, y'all, this is what's happening in the business. This is what I do know, and this is what I don't know. This is what I am leaving open. Has had some level of calm, that is for sure, I would say a huge level of calm, even though the accompanying emotions have maybe felt like a rollercoaster, staying open, believing that we don't know yet how everything is
to unfold because it's life and we're human and we're [00:09:00] limited, not making assumptions. It helps us lead calmly during seasons of change. And then number four, I mean, really I think this story helps us tap into that resilience and peace that we all want to build in ourselves. I believe, and maybe I'm making the assumption that you want to build resilience and peace within your world but.
I think the story helps us build those two qualities. Just a kind of quiet internal strength, less emotional whiplash, less attachment to highs and lows. I think I've said it on this podcast before, but one of my favorite, favorite pieces of advice from my dad who is was and is one of my first business mentors, greatest business mentors, he
told me from the very beginning, Audra don't write the highs too high or the lows too low. This story is a perfect example of this. It helps us build [00:10:00] resilience when we're not super attached to what is happening because we don't know the outcomes long term. So I believe applying this maybe mindset can help us stay curious and flexible.
It can help us tap into our most wise self, especially when life or business doesn't go according to Plan A. And here's a couple of mantras that I wanna share with us today that we could adopt. Now, the first one is, gosh, what if you just said that word? Maybe. Like what a beautiful one word trigger to remind your mind.
We don't need to rush to judgment. We don't need to rush your assumptions. Another mantra could be, this could be good, this could be bad. Time will tell. Another mantra could be, I'll stay open to what I can't yet see. Oh my gosh. If you are a person [00:11:00] who has a faith, I mean, that one just speaks to me so much.
I'll stay open to what I can't yet see. I fully believe there's so much in our world that we can't see, and if I fully believe that to my core, this mantra is going to soothe me and help me to pause.
Another mantra is I don't have to decide what this means yet. Oh my gosh. That feels so beautiful because I don't know about your brain, but my brain likes to make decisions. I wanna be decisive. I wanna know what's happening. I wanna have a plan all the time, every day for everything. It's kind of exhausting, and so to say to myself, I don't have to decide what this means yet.
That feels beautiful. Okay, so as we close up this short episode that I hope is full of tactical, practical perspective, shifting thoughts, [00:12:00] I wanna share four ways that we can actually incorporate this practice, these mantras being the tool into our daily lives. So how might we use one of those three mantras as a tool?
Well, of course. In the moment if we get surprising news, but I'm gonna venture to say that that one's gonna be the hardest, right? I feel like that's the goal. Instead, what might be easier to start is journaling and using these as a prompt. What if I stayed open to this? You know, if you're journaling in the morning, you know what might happen throughout the day, or probably even better with this prompt if you're journaling at night like.
You could reflect on some of the events throughout the day and ask yourself, what if I stayed open to this? Like what could be here for me is another prompt. Third, you could bring this into a meditation. So [00:13:00] one of my kids has a struggle with bedtime, and we created a mantra, and it's something that he can repeat silently when his mind starts raising in bed.
What if we did that for ourselves? What if it was just so simple as when my mind starts racing maybe, or I don't have to decide what this means yet. Such beautiful permission we can give ourself. And then the last way I think we can practically bring this into our daily lives is to do a sticky note. I love a good sticky note.
I kind of have them everywhere and then I'll like be sick of having 'em everywhere. So I'll throw them all away. But I had a sticky note on my computer in my office for years. With something that a mentor told me that I really needed to learn over and over and over again. So if one of these mantras, or even if that word maybe is like speaking to you, write it out on a sticky note.
Put that thing in your agenda, put it on your, your desktop, put it on your mirror, [00:14:00] put it on your door someplace you can see it every day. And just remind yourself to get curious. Tap into your wise mind and ask maybe. All right, y'all. I hope this short episode gave you just something interesting to think about this week.
Talk about it with your friends. If this is a podcast you enjoyed, share it with someone. Share it on social and tag me at Audra Danelle or at the thread, wlc. Share it via text. Just if this is something you're, that you loved. Just considering this week. I would appreciate if you shared it. Alright y'all, thank you.
I hope you're having a wonderful summer and we will see you back next week.
