A LOT with Audra

Ep04_v2
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Audra Dinell: Hello! Welcome to A Lot With Audra. Thank you for being here. I'm just so grateful to get to do this and As we start off today, I have to laugh. I'm recording in my office, not my home office, but the office I occupy in a space downtown, and I'm here today because my children are out of school again, and I have to laugh at this because I saw this meme on Instagram this morning that said, One thing about January is that she's going to make sure you feel all 31 of her days.

And I just thought, is that not the truth? [00:01:00] So hopefully as you're hearing this, Everyone in your life is where they're meant to be and the weather is not getting in the way of your plans, but hey, we're going to embrace it. So today I want to talk about how not to let your big vision overwhelm you.

A couple of weeks ago, I walked you through the framework that I use when I was planning out my year this year. But one of the things that has come up in conversation recently is overwhelm. overwhelm those of us with big dreams can feel when we try to start tackling them. In fact, I had a speaking engagement a couple of weeks ago, and I was having a conversation with a friend about vision boarding.

And this friend is a serial entrepreneur. She's in a tough season of business. She shared how much she loves the process of visioning. You can tell that she's a big dreamer, but when it comes down to the actual act of vision boarding in particular, overwhelmed, just hit like a [00:02:00] wave. And I thought, oh my gosh, I have so been there.

I've always been a big dreamer and as I've mentioned before, I've always been a planner. So oftentimes I'll have these big dreams just marinating in me. And then when I sit down to plan, it can be so hard to break them into teeny tiny steps that I can actually begin to execute on that these elaborate plans I've concocted just overwhelm me.

And I have to smile and just like love myself through that because I'm at a place where I'm not going to say I've conquered that, but I've certainly found systems and solutions that help me avoid that. Because the truth is, I let overwhelm sit in the shotgun seat. Next to my dreams for way too long. So some of the ways this shows up in our lives is we have these big dreams and these big goals, [00:03:00] but we avoid them, procrastinate on them.

We feel so overwhelmed. that we don't even know where to start. Starting feels impossible. Sometimes we have that thing called analysis paralysis where we have so many options and we just keep overthinking what's the best option that we stall ourselves from taking action. Or here's my favorite, my personal I mean, I say that sarcastically.

Here's the one that I tend to do the most and that's task switching, which is like jumping from one thing to another to feel busy and productive and get things done when I'm really not making progress on my biggest goals, dreams, aspirations. And this leads to frustration and anxiety and just Overwhelm.

And it feels so crappy when you're a person that's like, I have so much to give. I have so many dreams. Like there's so much inside of me, but it's not coming out in the way that it feels [00:04:00] inside. I found that with ADHD, overwhelm is a big symptom. In fact, it's one of the things that flagged me the most when I thought, Hmm, You know, maybe I am neurodivergent.

It was the amount of overwhelm that I felt very consistently. But even if you are not neurodivergent, I think you can probably relate. So here's why it matters. When we let our big dreams overwhelm us, we stall. We don't take action. And Newton's first law of motion says, An object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an external force.

And hasn't that happened to you in your life? I know what's happened to me when I'm having traction on something, I just keep going and keep getting it and things keep happening and it feels so good. And then when [00:05:00] something like, you know, winter break and then multiple days out of school, you know, puts me in a position of rest, for example, it can be harder to kind of get back up and get going.

I know, my stepbrother said this to me when I was first moving back to town. He mentioned this law and I thought, Oh, that's a genius. You know, that's why this consistency is so important. So overwhelm leads to stalling, leads to inaction. And I'm not talking about, I don't know what Newton was talking about.

Obviously he wasn't talking about goals or maybe he was, but, I'm not talking about the kind of rest that is good for us, right? Healthy for us, rest that we need. I'm talking about. The act of getting out of motion when we could be and want to be in motion, the healthy motion. So my dad is one of my greatest mentors, and he always says, he tells this story about when he gets this, a win in business, whether it be, you know, a [00:06:00] sales lead, or a good relationship, or a sale, or anything.

He says that what he found when he was younger is what made him different was when he would get that big win, he would keep going. He was a person that would be in motion, and he'd get a win, and so he'd keep going. He wouldn't stop to celebrate. He wouldn't stop and say, okay, I've met my goal for the day, check.

You know, let's move on. Let's go home and enjoy. He would keep going and definitely like, I'm talking about this. In a sense where it's like, I want you just to assume health. I'm not talking about hustle, burnout, et cetera. I'm talking about just staying in healthy, good, positive motion. How important that is so that we don't let overwhelm win.

So that those big dreams we have don't die inside of us so that we can actually take action. Okay. So why do our big, visions feel overwhelming. There's [00:07:00] a couple of reasons that I think at least this is what happens to me. So when we have like this big vision for our life. It can feel overwhelming. It can feel so far off.

And I think the first reason it feels overwhelming is because it feels like everything has to happen at once. So for the planners who are listening to this, you know, you have been guilty. If you are like me, because I have been guilty of, I hear something and before I even ask myself, what is the most important thing to do?

I often try to start jig puzzling, jigsaw puzzling, everything in to see if it'll fit. So, If I'm like, okay, you know, I want to do this and this and this and this, I want my business revenue to be this. And I want to do this in parenting and, and these health goals. And I want these trips and, and, and my house to have these updates, you know, whatever it is.

I start jigsaw puzzling everything to see, okay, how many things can I possibly squeeze on my [00:08:00] calendar to make all of these things happen? It feels like everything has to happen at once. I have to take action on everything right now, or. It has to be off the table. There's a couple of books that have helped me slowly step out of this mindset.

And instead of thinking, okay, here's what I want over here. Here's all the things that need to happen. Go, let's cram them all in, see how much we can do because that, that leads to burnout. I mean, that's just not sustainable. So the couple of books that I want to recommend that have helped me embrace prioritizing.

and Focusing are The One Thing by Gary Keller. And I'm currently in the middle of The 80 20 Rule by David Koch. And both of those books in different ways, talk about choosing what is most important and taking action on that. Kind of the thought of what one thing could you do that would help all the other areas of your life that would help all of the other goals and dreams you have [00:09:00] be easier.

Those books talk in depth about that. That's been a hard lesson for me to learn because I want to do all the things, right? My brain is a lot sometimes. The thought here is that I think it is tricky when we feel like everything has to happen all at once and it's hard to prioritize and say, okay, this is important to me, but it must wait because this is most important to me.

That is a skill that I'm developing that I am finding crucial. Okay. Another reason why I think big visions are overwhelming. The second reason is that analysis paralysis. We don't know where to start. In 2025, we have all the options. We can go down research holes for years, years and years and years without actually taking action because in our minds, we're being productive, right?

We're trying to find the best possible route for us to take. When in fact, analysis paralysis is not, It's not a healthy place to be. It's not a [00:10:00] place where you can be in motion. And oftentimes you have to just snap yourself out of that and make the right choice for now. We'll talk about that in a little bit.

I think the other reason big vision seem overwhelming is because we tend to fall back on comparison. We find someone who's doing what we want to do. And instead of using that as a healthy roadmap of sorts or motivation, we, our brains just tend to compare. And that's the thing, like we're in 2025, like social media is everywhere in our face.

It's so easy to get down on yourself and where you are on your journey. But that quote, The Thief of All Joy is Comparison is so true. I have hugely struggled with comparison. And here's the thing, it's sneaky in my brain. Sometimes I don't even know that my brain's doing it. I think I'll just be innocently researching something or seeing [00:11:00] something and I'll just notice this sneaky little thought in my brain.

But here's also the thing. I know. If I sit in comparison, I will absolutely never take action towards my biggest dreams. I had a text from a friend just the other night and she listened to episode three of this podcast and she said, I loved it. You know, thanks for recording. And this friend is special to me because many years ago I was living in Hawaii and I had met her through a women's leadership development program and we were having a social, with, the women in that cohort on the beach.

One day we brought all of our families to Kailua beach in Hawaii. And she said, she, she referred to me as like, the Hawaii version of this motivational speaker or something like that. Like, Oh, Audra, you're a miniature, you know, insert motivational speaker. And I just felt so seen by her and so appreciated.

And I [00:12:00] didn't even know that dream. That I had in my heart had seeped out into the world, into this place where other people could recognize it and see it in me, that I love this work of developing ourselves. And I want to talk about it and I want to talk about it a lot. And I want to talk about it as my profession, my vocation.

Gosh, when I compare myself to that particular motivational speaker, she is light years. ahead of me. But then what I love to do is think back to like that day on the beach, I was taking no action. And here I am probably six years later, seven years later, maybe recording a podcast about a motivational topic.

So I just really think we have to check comparison in our lives. We have to watch for it like hawks, because [00:13:00] It can lead us to overwhelm and it can keep us away from taking action on the big vision we have for ourselves. And then I think the only other reason before I get into some actual strategies on ways to help you beat overwhelm.

The other reason I can think of why big visions feel overwhelming that's happened to me in my life is that fear of failure. Fear of what other people are going to think. Fear of spending your time on something that doesn't work out the way you want it to. Fear of what it's going to mean for you and this dream you hold dearly if you try it and it doesn't work.

And then there's also a fear of success. And I really didn't buy into a fear of success for so long. I'm like, who is afraid of being successful? But then once I began to achieve some success, according to my goals and desires, I started to realize, Oh, [00:14:00] it's because when you reach one level of success, you have to give up things from like your past life that don't fit anymore.

And I think when I'm thinking of fear of success, here's the one thought that always comes in my head. Gosh, if I'm as successful as I want to be at this, I won't get to walk my kids to school every day anymore. And while I mean logistically, for sure that could happen, if I'm a person who's traveling to speak and I'm on the road, I am going to be able to walk my kids to school less.

But also I have to rumble with, but what opportunities could I be bringing my family, you know, if I do reach this level of success that I aspire to? So I do believe fear of success is super real. And it's just fear of the unknown of what you're going to have to give up in your current life [00:15:00] that you love or what you're going to have to do less of, or what's going to look a little bit different in your current situation.

If you achieve the level of success that your big visions Okay, so let's talk about ways to overcome this. Three actionable tips I want to leave you with. And the first one, surely you have heard this before, is reverse engineer your dream. So break your vision into smaller manageable goals and celebrate progress.

So I'll give you an example. Last year, one of the things that I wanted to do was increase my business financial acumen. Every entrepreneur that I was around, have gotten advice from, would say know your numbers, know your numbers, know your numbers. And I have always made small progress in this, but I was ready for a bigger leap.

Like, I was ready to end 2024 feeling so solid in my numbers. [00:16:00] Now, I'm a person who math was not my favorite, favorite subject. I obviously didn't go into business to play with the numbers. I've got friends in data and analytics and bookkeeping and finance and they, did. That's not me. I love the creative part of business, but this is something that is super important to me.

So that's a big goal. I want to become more. I want to have better financial acumen. I want to know my numbers more. I want to be excited about the finances behind my business. And I've talked to many people about this over the years. This is this big goal that I've had. So. What's the first step of that?

Like, how do you even measure that? That feels a little immeasurable. It's not quote unquote, a smart goal that's specific and measurable and achievable and realistic and timely. It's kind of vague, but it, for me, it was just this feeling, [00:17:00] this feeling of confidence behind the numbers of my business. And so I thought, what is the, how do I even start here?

This is, this is definitely overwhelming. So how I decided to start was I decided to have conversations with financial professionals and entrepreneurs in my life. That was my very first step. Just start by having conversations with these people and explain to them your goals and what you're thinking.

I wasn't very clear on any of this. So it was hard to even vet the conversations I was having. It was hard to really explain what I wanted because it wasn't super concrete, but that was my very first step, and I started taking that step a year ago. I started having these conversations.

Well, that led me to to finding a person that I thought was the right fit. That led me to booking a contract. That led me to starting training with them. That led me to total overwhelm [00:18:00] more than before tears, frustration, wondering if I would ever get it. And all of those steps led me to staying consistent, having a breakthrough, ending the year exactly where I wanted to be.

I found a tax partner that I really love, and this person was complimenting me on how well I knew my business numbers at the end of the year, and I was like, Oh my gosh, that's it. I did it. So strategy number one is to reverse engineer your dream. Even if it's super vague, what is the first thing you can do?

Again, the first thing for me to do was have conversations with financial professionals. Idea number two is focus on your zone of control. So when you have these big visions, focus on what you can control right now. I have a big vision for my family. I have a vision that [00:19:00] I will be deeply connected to my children, you know, throughout their life.

When they're adults, they'll want to spend time with me. I'll get to step out of that. parenting role and become more of a friend role to my children. You know, I love hanging out with my parents. I love doing date night with my parents. I love like planning things with my mom and, traveling, you know, with my mom and I want that for my family.

Well, that's a big, again, vague, audacious goal. So what's in my zone of control with that particular vision or goal? I've decided three, it's three things this year. The three things that I can do this year in hopes, in effort, that they are the right steps towards that bigger goal. The things that are in my control this year are I can stay a regulated parent.

I can spend 10 minutes with each of my kids focused on [00:20:00] something they want to do or talk about that day. And I can. Try to train them to be healthy, functional, thriving adults. We're starting with water bottles in January, y'all. We're starting with filling up your own water bottle. Baby steps, baby steps.

So focus on what's in your zone of control. When you think about this big vision you have, what is in your control right now? And then the last strategy I want to share with you as an idea is for you to ask this question, what's the next right thing? So let's go back to my parenting example. For me, When my day has gone off course, especially like considering all of these snow days and cold days and days out of school, where it's like, I had something else planned for our lives.

And I'm looking at this extra time with my kids as a gift. And it takes a lot of juggling and coordination [00:21:00] and logistical rearranging. And it's, The days can just go off course, regardless of if it's a snow day or not. What's the next right thing that I can do? What's the next right thing that I can do right now?

We can take it out of parenting, right? And think about You know, any, any goal that you have for work or otherwise, what big vision do you have? What's the next right thing you can do? If you're aiming to be healthier this year, I turn 40 next year. So I'm really trying to focus in on my nutrition. It's like, what's the next right thing?

Okay. I'm hungry. What's a good, like for me, protein heavy snack that I can have? What is the next right thing? Is that going to, Get me to, you know, where I want to be at 40. I mean, not that alone, but it is the next right thing. And it is within my zone of control. So that is my suggestion. Three tips, three things to try, three ideas, three strategies [00:22:00] to help you be overwhelmed that I hope I have normalized.

It is so normal to be overwhelmed when you're going for these big dreams that you have. But you have to conquer that overwhelm. You have to be a person that stays in motion, working towards these goals. Strategies to try are number one, reverse engineer the dream. Number two, focus what's in your zone of control.

And number three, ask what's the next right thing. So a couple of mindset shifts I want to share as we close out the podcast today. And the first one is this. I like to, when I'm feeling overwhelmed and especially when the comparison is coming in and leading to that overwhelm, I like to reframe what I'm thinking and think, you know what, I'm on my way. A tool that I'll use here is when I'm so focused on the gap that's in front of me to get where I want to be, I'll just turn around [00:23:00] and take a look at the gap behind me. So for me, I'm 38 now. I'll think about when I was 28 and think about, you know, where I was in life.

Like right now I feel so grateful. I feel so lucky to have built this business, doing something I love, and now starting a podcast. 38 feels good to me. 28, I was just starting to work in the ad agency world. At 28, 10 years ago, I was just starting to find work that I loved and that gave me, motivation and excitement and that I was good at and could, could see how to get better at.

I, I found a love for, you know, work after leaving a corporate job that just wasn't a long term fit for me and launching a business that failed. So it's like 10 years ago, I was Just again, finding excitement and work after leaving a corporate job that wasn't a long term fit and starting a business that had failed quickly.

So [00:24:00] I think about that. And then I think about, gosh, look at what has transpired in my life in 10 years. Where can I be in the next 10 years? And when I was actually working at that agency and, just starting, I remember developing this mantra that has stuck with me. And it's this, I live with intention.

And I accept imperfection because here's the thing, the journey isn't linear. And I just shared a beautiful piece of art that, that had that quote in it on Instagram the other day, but the journey isn't linear. So I'm on my way and I'm going to live with intention and imperfection is going to creep in, but I'm going to be taking the next right step.

And if I could just continue to get my mind wrapped around that, I can beat overwhelm. Okay, last thing, last thing that I want to share is it always helps me to anchor down in contentment [00:25:00] as a mindset. So, I feel like contentment is the base, the foundation of everything. I want to live extremely grateful for all of you.

The things I've been given for all the things in my life. I never know how long they're going to be there. I didn't do anything to earn them. Like these are just like gifts. My family, my husband, you know, my home. I mean, I guess you can argue, you know, you did a little bit of stuff to earn your home or whatever, but I just want to be extremely grateful.

And I just want to have this heart of gratitude and like deep contentment for what I already have. Because that's the base of me feeling excited to go after what's next, these big dreams. I really deeply in my heart feel that if we're not content here with what we have now, we won't be [00:26:00] content when we reach that big dream and big vision.

Contentment is, is so important. to me because it'll never be enough if I don't have contentment and what I have been given and this beautiful life that I have and that you have, like there's so much there. I'm so grateful. I feel so deeply content and I have these big dreams that I am having so much fun pursuing.

I'm going to aim every step along the way of finding contentment and joy and thankfulness and where I am now so that. It'll be the base when I get where I want to go. Okay, for real. Wrapping us up. Thank you for being here today. We just celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day and one of my favorite quotes that he ever said is this, faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole [00:27:00] staircase. I love that because I feel like that's exactly what we're talking about today. Having faith in yourself, having faith in humanity, having faith in the higher power that you believe in, having faith by taking the first step, even when you don't know the how, of how you're gonna get all the way up the staircase.

So this week, I'd love to encourage you to write down your big vision, if you didn't a couple of weeks ago, and I'll I want to encourage you to identify just one small action you can take this week. Thank you all again for being here. I am truly, truly grateful. I'm having so much fun. So thank you. If you haven't already, I'd love to ask you to subscribe, review the podcast, just share your thoughts.

And if this episode was helpful, share it on your social or share it with a friend. All of this is really important as we're trying to build up the podcast. [00:28:00] And in case you missed it. We debuted number 88 in entrepreneurship on Apple podcasts. Oh, so cool. And I'm so grateful. And I don't know, I think it's kind of funny.

I just never expected that. And it's just something that I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's so cool. And it's because of you all. It's because you subscribed and reviewed and shared. So thank you. Help me keep this going. Have a great week. And I can't wait to talk to you next week.