88. When You’ve Done Everything “Right” but Feel Like Something is Missing with Karen Bartholemew, Founder of the PAUSE Method

Ep88
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Meet Karen Bartholomew
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​[00:00:00]

Audra Dinell: [00:01:00] Today I'm talking with Karen Bartholomew, mindset coach, guide, and founder of The Pause Method. She knows that high-achieving women don't need another checklist. They need a clear space to think, feel, and lead from their own truths without the noise, the pressure, and the expectations pulling you in every direction.

That's why she helps women strip away what's been holding them back, uncover what they really want, and design the next chapter with absolute clarity and confidence. What I loved so much about this conversation is that Karen has lived experiences she built her business and framework off of. If you are someone who needs to hear from a mentor, today's your day Karen, welcome to the podcast

Karen Bartholomew: Well, I'm happy to be here. Thank you so much

Why Women Seek Change
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Audra Dinell: So women come to you when they know they are ready for a change. What are some common themes you see in your clients' lives by the [00:02:00] time they get to you?

Burnout And Overload
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Karen Bartholomew: Okay, so typically what happens is I get some high-powered women that are just burned out,

Audra Dinell: Burnout

Karen Bartholomew: There's... It's total burnout. They've drained their energy. They're literally mentally and emotionally just drained. They have a lot of clutter in their life because they don't have time to, like, deal with the clutter. They actually don't feel good a lot of the time, so from a health standpoint, so not a lot of vitality. They just have calm

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: And so when people come to me, I really just, like, ask a lot of questions to find out where their starting point is.

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: know, like, what's the story,

Audra Dinell: Gosh, I'm sure a lot of the people listening to this podcast can relate. Experiencing burnout, feeling like they don't have time to deal with the clutter in their lives, whether that be physical clutter, calendar clutter, even just like mental, emotional clutter. [00:03:00] Don't have time to take that space, and then therefore they're lacking peace

Asking For Help
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Karen Bartholomew: You know, if most women, we, we take on so much, right? And a lot of that we shouldn't even be taking on. know, the, the... If you look at the feminine and the masculine, right? Like, we as women take on so much that we shouldn't take on as responsibility, right? So, you know, and then there's no time for us in the end, right?

So, you know, we look at that and we go, "Okay, so I'm doing the grocery shopping and I'm holding the kids, and maybe my husband is, like, on the phone and I'm pulling the wagon and I'm, disciplining the kids and doing all this stuff." And it's like you don't have to do any of that. That's just become what's happened, right? Instead of saying, you know, "Let me, like, dip into my femininity and ask for help."

Audra Dinell: Hmm.

Karen Bartholomew: ask for help, right?

Karen’s 2010 Breaking Point
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Karen Bartholomew: Like, I know that was one of my biggest issues, when I started back in 2010 of really looking into my transformation and what I wanted to create and what I wanted in life. [00:04:00] And so that's really how this started for me, was that I was burned out. I was sick of me,

Audra Dinell: Hmm.

Karen Bartholomew: had three kids. I was a single mom of, a very... a toddler, a seven-year-old, and a, - How old was she? She was 11. And I became a single mom, and I was just like, "I'm just tired of the same old, same old, same old, and there's no time for me because I am running from 6:00 AM until 9:00 PM.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: the time I'm done, I'm burned out. I have no time to read a book. I have no time to have a cup of coffee. I have no time to, like, work out or take a walk or, or do any of those things." And I was just like, "I can't do this anymore." so I took myself on for four months and said, "I'm gonna figure this out."

Taking A Four Month Pause
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Audra Dinell: And did you keep your job while you were doing that? Did you have to make some major shifts in your life to take yourself on as a coaching client?

Karen Bartholomew: Yes. So the major shift at the time I was in corporate America and I had decided to take a break stay home with the kids. [00:05:00] And so I, at the time I wasn't working. I had saved enough money. I had gotten divorced, you know, so I had enough to, to get myself by for a while. And so I was able to take those four months off, and which I've done multiple times by the way, because, I was able to really financially take care of myself with a coach.

I didn't do that on my own 'cause I didn't learn that as a s- you know, growing up. And so I was able to really go, "Okay, how am I playing life?" a lot of it I didn't like,

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: know, and some of it I did like. And so I just said, "Okay, well those things that aren't working for me, now that I'm starting to redesign the next chapter, if things aren't in alignment with where I'm going, I can say no. I can say, 'No, that's not gonna work for me right now.' That might work a year from now, but where I am in this chapter of my life, w- it's not where I'm going," right? And so, and you l- you lose people along the way also, okay? I mean, there's friends that I've lost, family members that, you know, that [00:06:00] actually we don't talk as much anymore because they don't agree with the avenue that I'm taking in my life, and that's okay.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: 'cause that does happen. You gotta get a really strong backbone sometimes when you decide to make decisions for yourself 'cause it doesn't work for everybody

Audra Dinell: Yeah. I like that phrase, "People are in your life for a reason, a season, or forever." I think that's the phrase. Because, yeah, I think we all love to hang on to all the relationships we have, and, and that's a beautiful... There's a beautiful heart behind that, and it's just not reality, and it can hold us back from growing into the people, you know, we're meant to be if we're prioritizing the comfort of a relationship staying the same over who we see ourselves becoming

Karen Bartholomew: Yeah, and you know, and, even with some people, some people I really wanted to have in my life, [00:07:00] right? But I was able to, like, go, "Okay, well, I'm gonna spend this much time with them. I don't need to do a whole weekend, or I don't need to do a whole day." so I look back at certain relationships and I'm like, "What part of this relationship really thrives for both of us," right?

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: I'm like, "Okay, so this piece really thrives. That's the piece I'm gonna hang onto, and I'm just gonna, like, let's go to a movie. Let's just have dinner," right? We don't have to have this whole day, you know, where we get into weird conversations. It doesn't feel good,

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: , So you have permission, which is why I tell everybody, permission to pause, okay? And which is the big word that I use a lot in coaching, is take permission to do what you need to do

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: can think and recreate and, like, live a life with intention and purpose in the direction that you wanna go.

Audra Dinell: Well, and I wanna get to the Pause Method soon, but first I wanna spend a little bit more time on your journey. 2010, three kids, you set yourself up [00:08:00] financially to be able to take a four-month pause. I think many of us would be scared to do that because we would have to deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what was gonna happen after those four months.

Were we gonna find another job? Were we going to ... You know what I mean? So, like, tell me how did that sit with you?

Fear Of The Future
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Karen Bartholomew: Okay, so if we look at what we're talking about now, which is fear, okay, of the future, right? So fear of the future, but let's just take a look at what really is fear, okay? 'Cause that's where we kinda have to start. Like, if I go, "Oh, I don't know what's gonna happen in the future," but my imagination is gonna go rampant and come with all these things, because our brain is here to have us survive and be comfortable. now we're talking about being uncomfortable. So when we talk about being uncomfortable, you're bringing past history forward, which actually doesn't really belong here, 'cause it's not really [00:09:00] truth, right? So what happened in your past happened. It couldn't have happened any other way, because it happened that way.

That's the version you were at the time, okay? But, like, a lot of things that happened to us when we're younger, between the ages of like 4, 8, 12, you know, up to, you know, 18 till we leave the house, everybody's conditioning us. , We're a person of everybody else. Many generations it could be, okay? Then we get out in the world and we're like, "Oh, now I'm an adult. I'm gonna figure this out," and we don't really know what works for us, what doesn't work for us, because everybody else has been telling us what to do. And so w- when I look at fear, I go, "Okay, so I'm scared what's gonna happen over the next four months. What if I don't find another job?" Well, we don't really know that that's correct because it hasn't happened. We don't know what's gonna happen an hour from now.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: we're living in fear of what could happen because of our imagination. It's, it's just making that... We have a huge imagination. We can imagine all kinds of [00:10:00] stuff.

If I asked you, you know, how many times have you imagined something happening and literally it's never happened that way? Never. Once you live in the present and you learn to let go of all the stuff, which is the coaching that I do, , and you live here knowing that you're safe, you have unity and harmony and vitality, and you're living, is all the four corners of who we are. If you're living in that present moment, then you can live here and have joy and peace and not worry what's gonna happen. Just live here. Like, knowing that, yeah, I'm gonna, like, get a job in the next four months. I'm gonna find the right job, because I'm gonna work on myself, and I'm gonna know exactly what I'm in line with and where I wanna go, and I'm gonna actually, attract that. So if you come from, like, "No, I'm gonna find that," and every day you go, "That's where I'm going. I'm gonna find that. This is what I want," and you live from that space, then actually you will attract it, and you don't have to worry about what's gonna happen, 'cause this universe is working for us.

Audra Dinell: And so [00:11:00] tell me

Karen Bartholomew: to give the universe a memo that goes, "Hey." this world works on its own without a memo,

Audra Dinell: Okay, so was the anxiety of paying a mortgage or paying rent in the back of your head?

Karen Bartholomew: Oh yeah, because I'm a human being.

Audra Dinell: Right. Right. Yeah. So it's like

Scarcity Versus Abundance
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Karen Bartholomew: however, and you know, and it still happens, as an entrepreneur, let me just tell you, we... I mean, I know and a lot of people that I coach, we're like, "It's all gonna fall apart tomorrow and we're all gonna be broke." Well, is that true? No, because we all know how to make money.

We can go make more money.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: That's the difference of coming from scarcity and abundance,

Audra Dinell: Mm-hmm

Karen Bartholomew: all have abundance. We just have layers of stuff that have actually just hidden it, and then we come from a scarcity mindset. But we're like... Because here's what happens, like, we're raised, right? And we're these beautiful human beings, precious human beings when we come into the world, right? Somewhere along the line, we've decided, in our imagination, we're not precious anymore because we've been hurt, another hurt, [00:12:00] da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And by the time you go out in the world, you have a new messaging, a new story about yourself.

Childhood Stories And Conditioning
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Karen Bartholomew: So for me, when I was 12, which is where, , I realized when I went back and did a timeline of like, where did my conditioning start, where I attracted different people in my life that didn't work for me, and that's kind of how I got sick of myself.

Like, why do I keep doing the same thing over and over and over again? Why can't I just break the cycle, So what happened back there is that, you know, back in the day, I was a child of five, okay? I had a brother 15 months older than me and 18 months younger than me, and then a sister that was six years younger and 12 years younger. And so back there, - you know, I love my parents dearly, but back then, you know, , the boys ended up being the favorites basically. And so, you know, they got to do , whatever, and I was like that one that was, you know, doing the chores and, like, doing this and doing that, and the k- you know, couldn't go play until, , I had things taken care of. , So , what story that I told [00:13:00] myself was that I wasn't loved,

Audra Dinell: Mm.

Karen Bartholomew: wasn't true, but it was a story I told myself as a small child, okay? So when my mother came at 12 years old and told me she was having another baby, child, ran in the bathroom and locked myself in the bathroom and cried and cried and cried and cried and wouldn't let anybody in because now my story was, "Well, there's no love for me now.

Now there's gonna be a fifth child. There's really gonna be no love."

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: So, you know, going into the world thinking I'm not loved-

Audra Dinell: you You have this abundance mindset that you shift to even though the reality is that that fear and that scarcity kind of , stay there. But you just learned, like, where that came from, from that young age, and that belief as a subconscious belief as a child that, there was a lack of love, and that was the lack, the scarcity.

And so it's like you just live with that part it sounds like. But when you took this leap and you took these four months, [00:14:00] you just kept coming back to believing in abundance and believing in yourself and that actions

Karen Bartholomew: think what,

Audra Dinell: that you would take

Karen Bartholomew: Yeah, I mean, I think what's happened as I've leveled up my coaching over the years, , and Peter Crone is one of my big mentors, and so basically, , I've learned from him mentoring, that really if I look back, , at that, that was a story I told myself, that's not truth today.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: You know what I mean? So if I can leave that, if I can just be aware of what it was let it be there, knowing that, if I go back in time, I can pick that up at any time, , in a weak moment and go, "Oh, there's evidence I'm not loved again," right? Because of something that's happening over here.

Audra Dinell: Ja,

Karen Bartholomew: not true.

Audra Dinell: ja

Karen Bartholomew: if I look at, if am I loved? Well, of course I'm loved. I mean, it's all around me.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: worthy, and am I important, and do I matter? Yeah, because of the work that I'm doing, right, and the people that I'm helping in the world.

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: why I chose to do the things that I do, right? Because [00:15:00] we over... You know, that's what we do. Whatever's going over here, we end up in a career, whatever it is, to help people. To help people not feel like that. To

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: people are loved, heard, and safe,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: , And held, and all those things, right? And so that's what I do in the coaching, is I bring people to the sacred space to go, "This is a space and it's very safe, and you can talk about anything.

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: we'll work through it."

Audra Dinell: So what happened in 2010 when you went back? Like,, what was the next step? You took that four-month pause, then who... What was your identity? I'm curious. Because you, you were at that point with the kids and the burnout, and you did the pause, and so what, what transformed?

Finding Your Voice
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Karen Bartholomew: I think one of the biggest things to happen is we did some exercises in this class that I took, and there was a game that we played. I'm trying to think back now. , I'll never forget it. , It was a game. It, it went on for like three hours and, , knew the answer, but I stayed in the back of the room, , knowing going, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," but I didn't have a voice. I [00:16:00] decided that I didn't want to be embarrassed. I didn't want to step forward. I didn't want people not to like me. I had all this people-pleasing stuff going on, okay? And, was like, "Let's just stay in the back." Well, somebody heard me say under my voice, one of the facilitators heard me say, if it was...

'cause back in the day it was The Apprentice was on, and I said, "Well, he would've just fired him," right? And he goes, "Well, why aren't you up there then leading this?" And that was like a big like, wow, am I not,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: right? So that made me realize during that piece that I was a leader and I did need to step out and have a voice and be seen and be heard, it was really scary. But like the scary stuff, the uncomfortable, scary, scary stuff is what actually gets us over the hump. But we won't do it without someone. We will stay here comfortable, and so that's why it's so important. I wish I would've had mentors when I was young. know, my daughter's 26 [00:17:00] right now and, , she's been doing this work with me for like the last six years because of things that happened in her life. is so much further more than where she started,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: has a five-month-old baby and she's doing great and she's, she works for me again and she's doing amazing. But she's tapped into like why does she not feel safe, you know, , because of things that happened to her, , in her childhood from the other side. , And so we worked through that to say, "That's not true today.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: when you were 12, but it's not true today,

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: not, you're not abandoned

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Coaching Through The Past
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Karen Bartholomew: you are loved." And so , it's just the fact that we go back and we go, "Okay, so tell me what's going on," you know? Like, what, what's happening?

And just asking the questions to people and then you actually dip into it and go, "Okay, well when's the first time you remember that happening?" Right?

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: And it's a very safe space, and then they can tell me the story and then it's okay, right? I just helped a woman not long ago. She asked me if she could ask me a coaching question.

I said, "Absolutely." And so she asked me the coaching que- She was having an issue with [00:18:00] the rooms that she was in, right? From a like, it was really a worthy problem, but I was- asked her a couple questions. I'm like, "Well, where do you, when do you remember first having that happen?" it took her back to when she was very small, it was her dad.

You know, messages that her dad was, , whatever he was saying to her. Well, she just carried that all the way through and it popped its ugly head

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: in her 50s.

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: I'm like, "Okay."

Audra Dinell: Tap back into that.

The PAUSE Method Steps
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Audra Dinell: So is that part of your pause method? Tell us a little bit about that

Karen Bartholomew: Yes, yes, yes. So the PAUSE method is five steps basically, and it's exactly what I've been doing since 2010. And so because I've been helping so many women, I'm like, "Wait a minute, I need to put a framework together for this," right?

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: And so it starts out with the first, P, just to perceive. Notice the thought, catch it in real time, right? You simply see it without any judgment, just what, for what it is. It's just an awareness. It's really the first act of being free. It's just, wow, [00:19:00] this is happening. And then really going back and going acknowledging, you know, what, what's happening? What's happening in your nervous system? What's going on? Do you feel pressure? are you in fear of letting people down? You know, what, what's happening? Like, how are you feeling, right? , And so it's really just acknowledging that. And sometimes what I do is we do a timeline and go, "Okay, so we're gonna do a timeline. I want you to think of the very first memory and just walk me through what's happened. Just tell me your life story," and I'll just put it all down on a timeline,

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: look at it. and I did it myself, and so I was able to just use me as an example. I was able to go over and go through this, and I'm like, I ask people to do it on big pieces of paper, put some music on, because we really don't want any judgment or any opinions. We just want you to write,

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: And so with colorful markers or whatever, and then we look at this timeline and I'm like, for me, it was like every seven years everything was good, good, good, good, good.

Then seven years, something happened.

Audra Dinell: Oh, how interesting.

Karen Bartholomew: happened. Da, da, da, da. I mean, literally every seven years, and I'm now 64. Okay? So started when I was 12.

Audra Dinell: Ja.

Karen Bartholomew: [00:20:00] a long time to

Audra Dinell: Ja?

Karen Bartholomew: onto that, right? And so I was able to see this like, wow, I totally see where this is coming from.

Audra Dinell: So is that moving us into A? Is A awareness

Karen Bartholomew: That area A is acknowledging it.

Audra Dinell: Acknowledging it, okay.

Karen Bartholomew: first

Audra Dinell: Perceive it

Karen Bartholomew: which is awareness. The next one is acknowledging it. Really acknowledging it and go, "Okay, I get where that's coming from. Now, what's the story that I put behind it?" Mine was I wasn't loved.

Audra Dinell: Mm-hmm

Karen Bartholomew: You know, where did it , come from? It came from the bathroom floor,

Audra Dinell: Mm-hmm

Karen Bartholomew: , Maybe some people actually, for them, it was like - they were only praised for performance, then becomes performance-driven, right? Or perfectionist, right?

Audra Dinell: Yeah, yeah

Karen Bartholomew: it's different things. Maybe you had a brother that, you know, bullied you. I don't know. And then , you might have the message that, you know, "I'm not wanted," or, "I'm not safe," or, you know, "I'm alone."

A lot of people feel very alone, you know? And so there's, this, you could say k- a saboteur kind of strategy that you put in place. So if you feel that [00:21:00] you are alone, right? , I had a woman that was her thing. She was completely alone, right? So basically, so she didn't have any unity. the first step that we took when we finally realized where that came from was, like, she loved to have...

She wanted to have a book club, but she was scared to have the book club. so basically it was, \, well, you don't wanna have a book club. Why don't you want a book club? "Because I don't really wanna have anyone in my house because I feel like my house is messy." Okay. So do you have one friend that you can bring in, or can you go to a coffee shop? So the point was just to get her to start community, even just with one person.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: Eventually, over six months, that grew to three, and eventually she brought them into her home.

Audra Dinell: Hmm.

Karen Bartholomew: she has community and unity

Audra Dinell: Okay, so Unity must be you in your POS method.

Karen Bartholomew: , No, it's

Audra Dinell: No. Okay.

Karen Bartholomew: unity. I'm just giving you an example.

Audra Dinell: yeah

Karen Bartholomew: But that's just acknowledging where it came from. The unwind

Audra Dinell: Unwind. Okay.[00:22:00]

Karen Bartholomew: it, unravel it.

Audra Dinell: Mm.

Karen Bartholomew: out where it's coming from so then we can actually put some things in place.

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: so the next piece is shifting. We

Audra Dinell: Okay

Karen Bartholomew: it. We wanna choose a new truth. So her new truth is that I'm not alone, right? I'm actually even really safe if I slow down.

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: You know what I mean? I do have unity. I have community. I'm having fun. We're rewriting that internal language that really doesn't belong in today's truth

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: It was a story that we brought forward.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: So the point is to not go back and find evidence because we don't live there anymore.

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: really free of that past, then you have a new world to live in,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: you know?

Embodying The New Truth
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Karen Bartholomew: And fear doesn't... It raises its ugly head, and it always will 'cause we're human beings.

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: However, you can catch it faster. oh, okay.

'Cause I always say, you know, when something comes to you and it triggers you, right? 'Cause you go- know, [00:23:00] you can feel it. You're like, you wanna like, whoa, spew or s- you know, rage or whatever you wanna do, whatever your method is. We all have them. I get really busy and I start cleaning.

Audra Dinell: Yeah. Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: "Okay, something's wrong.

I'm cleaning. I'm doing all this stuff." I need to stop,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: take a pause, and I just need to like, where's that coming from? Does it really belong here,

Audra Dinell: Ja. Ja

Karen Bartholomew: change that story and that script

Audra Dinell: And so where do we, where do we end at E?

Karen Bartholomew: So E is just really embodying and

Audra Dinell: Okay

Karen Bartholomew: new way. You know? You, you embody it through breath, and presence, and movements, and boundaries, self-trust. So we learn all of that, you know, through this course,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: a group cohort or it's a one-on-one coaching,

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: I help people get through that

Audra Dinell: Well, and I like how the first part, it seems like it's intentionally built where it's like we're not just gonna skip to the doing. We're really gonna see what's under here. We're gonna take time to really look it in the face [00:24:00] and understand and shift the story so that we can live more from that embodied self, which it makes so much sense thinking about your story in 2010 and the pause you took and your ability to shift and then live from a more embodied place of your values and who you were then and becoming

Karen Bartholomew: Yeah, I think a lot of people, you know, are scared to slow down.

Audra Dinell: Oh, yeah. I would totally agree with you. Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: Yeah, I mean,

Audra Dinell: It's like, what's gonna happen?

Karen Bartholomew: right, we're

Audra Dinell: Yeah. Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: right? We've been managing, managing, managing, and if we slow down, then what? We have to face ourselves, and that's scary, You know, we have grief, we have fear, we have , unmet needs.

We have all these things, right?

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Designing The Next Six Months
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Karen Bartholomew: so if we slow down... But what I say is just slowing down enough to, like, just let's, let's start... Maybe the question is just, what do you really want,

Audra Dinell: Ja

Karen Bartholomew: right? What do you really, really, really [00:25:00] want in the next six months? That's why we say, we always create... My, my whole thing is designing the next chapter for the next six months, and then we take it month-to-month increments, and every three months we look at it and go, "Okay, let's see.

Where did you start? Do you remember where you started? like, look at you now." And then we celebrate,

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: we forget to celebrate,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: So as women, we just go, go, go, go, go. And I'm like, "No, we need to celebrate." it's just taking a cup of tea and going on the porch just to be by yourself for a while.

Audra Dinell: Right

Karen Bartholomew: knowing that you matter enough to breathe,

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Courage To Be Still
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Audra Dinell: Oh, okay, so if someone's listening to this and they're thinking, "Wow, I think it's amazing that she took these month-long pauses. I wanna be able to do something like that, but I wanna be really intentional with them. I relate to the pause method," what's one piece of advice you would give listeners?

Karen Bartholomew: You know, I would just say, , my superpower is courage, first of [00:26:00] all. And so, you know, just to have the courage to be still long enough and ask yourself, "What do I need today?

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: Just today,

in this moment for the next two hours. Do I need to, you know, make breakfast for myself? Do I need to go on a walk?" You know, my first pause was walking to the mailbox, literally, just to get a little bit of peace from the chaos at the moment.

Audra Dinell: Yeah.

Karen Bartholomew: It was five minutes,

Audra Dinell: Yeah

Karen Bartholomew: I made it longer and longer and longer and longer, right?

Audra Dinell: Mm.

Karen Bartholomew: Because I think as women, I would say, you know, you're allowed to rest. You're allowed to put your phone down.

You're allowed to say no. don't have to have all the answers.

Audra Dinell: You're allowed to ask for help

Karen Bartholomew: You're not lost. You know, you're just inviting yourself to listen, right to you

Audra Dinell: Mm. I love that, the courage to be still, because oftentimes we don't pair those words together,

Karen Bartholomew: Exactly

Audra Dinell: and yet that is what it takes. In the world we live in [00:27:00] today and the perception of control and feeling like we don't wanna get off the ride because what's gonna happen? Are we gonna be forgotten? Are we gonna have to face some parts of ourselves that are scary to face?

So it takes courage to just be still.

How To Work With Karen
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Audra Dinell: If people are listening and they're like, "I want a coach to help me through this," where can people find you and how can people work with you?

Karen Bartholomew: So they can always go to my website, first of all, karenbartholomew.com. It's super easy. It's just my first name, last name .com. They also can go to my Instagram page and DM me directly. I can give you my number right now, and they can give me a call. They can also email me. So my phone number is 925-998-1360.

That

Audra Dinell: Okay

Karen Bartholomew: my cell phone. you can also email me at karen@masterpiececonsulting.net.

Rest Without A Crisis
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Karen Bartholomew: I just wanna encourage people, like if they'd hear one thing, [00:28:00] we don't have to earn rest. You don't need a crisis to deserve a pause

Audra Dinell: You don't have to be burnt out

Karen Bartholomew: No, , we take a pause when our kid gets hurt, you know, or there's a crisis, or we have an ill parent or something, then all of a sudden we're like, "Oh, we're gonna take off a week," or, "I'm just leaving," right? We can do that without all of that stuff

Audra Dinell: Yeah, we can be the reason

Retreats And Closing Thanks
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Karen Bartholomew: We can be the reason, which is also why I created the retreats that I do once a year.

Audra Dinell: Oh, so fun

Karen Bartholomew: small retreat for 20 women. It's also on my website. and it's very sacred. And I don't do any social media on it or anything for that reason, because I want it to be a very sacred, safe space, , where people actually get to, like, get, go through this in two and a half days.

Audra Dinell: Mm. Karen, thank you so much

Karen Bartholomew: We have a breathwork. We do methodology and coaching. Yeah, it's just, it's a wonderful platform and a l- wonderful place for people to come. So

Audra Dinell: That sounds amazing.

Karen Bartholomew: you're so welcome

Audra Dinell: Yeah, and I know, somebody who's listening to this is gonna see [00:29:00] themselves in your story with the kids, 2010, feeling burnt out, you know, and reflect a little bit. So thank you so much for sharing,

Karen Bartholomew: wonderful.

Audra Dinell: for being here. Yep

Karen Bartholomew: for having me

88. When You’ve Done Everything “Right” but Feel Like Something is Missing with Karen Bartholemew, Founder of the PAUSE Method
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